P/S : I LOVE YOU
Every day, I walk to school with
Amber, my kindergarten-to-high-school sweetheart. She would greet me with that
sweet yet naughty smile of hers. That smile. I’ve always loved them. Ah, heck.
I loved her. But I never had the courage to say so. How could I ? We’ve been
best friends for…what ? 10 years now ? Oh, never would I want to break that
bond.
Amber has always been the friend
that could fit the phrase, “a friend in need is a friend indeed”. She knew I
was the quite-type of guy so she did all the talking. It never bore me, though.
Her voice was like the wind during fall. It caressed my soul and left my body
tingling with excitement. She was also gifted with a kindred soul, helpful,
tender and gentle yet cheerfully naughty.
It’s like she was a strawberry filled
marshmallow, soft and tender, gentle to your taste buds yet when you bite it,
that sweet and sour strawberry filling intrudes your mouth excitedly. It gave
me all the more reason to love her.
On her birthday, I decided that I
would do what I never did before this, which was to tell Amber what she meant
to me. And if her reaction was positive, I would take her to our special tree
in the park to have a picnic. I would cook the food myself and sing her
“Superman” by Joe Brooks, her favourite.
So one day before that, which was
-thankfully- Friday, I looked everywhere at school for Amber. After an hour or
so, I saw her came out of the counsellor’s office, wiping her eyes. It looked
like she poured her heart out in there. Like her tears, too. She was extravagantly
sad. I noticed her patting her head and said to herself,
‘I’m going to be fine! I’m strong, I know it !’.
But then her lips trembled, her
shoulders slumped, her eyes closed and her feet descended themselves to the
floor. She was crying again. My heart ached to see her so. She cried quietly so
nobody would hear her or her sobbing hiccups. I’ve never seen her so sad. As a
matter of fact, I’ve never seen her frown ! That true little fact made my heart
longed for her presence, my ears eager to hear her sing-song laughter, my hands
reaching out to hold her trembling body.
I walked to her slowly, trying
not to jump her, when I heard her talking quietly to herself in between
hiccups. She was soothing herself…
‘I..I.. I d-don’t want to, leave… I c-can’t leave.. It’s not
m-my fault… but h-how am I g-going to t-tell him ? I c-can’t t-tell him.. he’ll
b-be so worried… I’m s-sorry Taylor… my p-poor Taylor.. uhuk..!’
I crouched beside her, pulled her into a hug which made her
body tense for a minute and so I said,
‘Hey, hey… don’t worry. It’s just me. It’s me, Taylor…There,
there don’t worry… I’m here. I’m not going to eat you.’
Eventually to what I just said,
she giggled. Then the tension in her body died down, but her grip to my sweater
tighten.
‘Hey…..hey, relax.. or not you won’t stop hiccupping’, I
stroked her jet black hair, held her like I had no other day to do so, also
making it up for those 10 years not doing so.
My dear Amber… what’s wrong ?
<3 <3 <3 <3
After all the melodrama died
down, I bought Amber and myself a tin of coffee from the vending machine and we
sat on a bench nearby.
‘So what’s going on ? I saw you coming out of the
counsellor’s office… Did you get into a catfight or something ?’, I tried to
joke about it.
She smiled. Even so, I saw a
glint of worry in her eyes.
‘It’s…nothing, really…,’ she hesitated, but then said,
‘Taylor… I know this is going to sound bad, but… I have to
leave.’
‘Oh, okay, I can send you home,’ I said stupidly.
‘No, Taylor… It’s just that… Something came up at home and I
have to leave for my aunt’s house in Ohio. It really can’t be helped. I’m
really, sorry…,’ she said, almost in tears.
‘It’s okay. Don’t worry. I understand. But…can I ask you why
?,’ I asked, my voice quivering, actually not understanding.
Instead of answering, she faked a
smile, got up and went home.
<3 <3
<3 <3
I probably crawled home, slowly,
quietly, sadly… It was already late evening, so near to twilight. The sky was
like a painting, beautifully drawn.
‘Where did I go wrong ? I thought we were doing fine ? It
couldn’t be because she figured out I liked her and didn’t want us to be like
that so she moved ? Amber… unngghh !!!,’ I complained to myself, frustrated.
Out of nowhere, a small, familiar
white cat appeared in front of me. It looked like it was hurt because it only
used 3 of its legs to walk. I bent down, patted it and I saw a collar around
its neck. It wrote, ‘no.2, 24th Elm Street’.
No.2… Ah…. Amber.
Why me? Why now?
<3 <3
<3 <3
DING DONG !!! The doorbell rang.
Footsteps were fast heading towards the door. I almost had a heart attack,
suddenly nervous. Of what, I didn’t know, yet. Someone opened the door and
shouted,
‘WHAT ??? I told you I……Taylor..,’ said Amber, obviously
shocked.
‘You told me… what ?,’ I joked.
‘I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else…,’ she said,
barely above a whisper.
‘No, no, it’s my fault for coming here so late. But I found
your cat and I think it’s hurt. Here, and it’s probably hungry too,’ I handed
it over to her.
‘Oh no, Guinevere ! My poor Guinevere… I think you should
come inside for a bit. You can join me for dinner. Mum and dad are out on a
business dinner. So it’s just me. I only made chicken soup for dinner, is that
okay ?,’
‘Sure. Thanks,’ and so we went inside.
<3
<3 <3 <3
The house was quiet. Amber was
concentrating on Guinevere’s injury and I was sitting there, looking at the
boxes mounting around us. I had a bad feeling about her moving and all because
all the boxes only had her name on it. I think she was hiding something.
Something I shouldn’t know. But I tried, anyway. So I said,
‘Amber, actually, I was kind of curious about the reason why
you had to move. Why is it that only you that’s moving and not you’re whole
family ?,’
She put Guinevere down, came to
stand in front of me and said,
‘How about we eat first ? I’m pretty hungry and I’m sure you
are too,’
<3 <3
<3 <3
We ate in silence. Awkwardness
was in the air. And somewhere in between, there was guilt. She washed the
dishes, I cleaned the table. She went to the living room and I followed. She
turned around to look at me. It was there. The guilt that I felt, it was there
in her tear-filled eyes.
‘Come here’, she said, putting her hand out for me to reach.
I was nervous. And it’s not
because she held out her hand for me, but because I felt something was up.
Something I was not going to like at all.
As I reached her, I noticed her
hand and her lips were trembling. When I held her hand, she collapsed to the
floor and started crying. And I, started to panic. So I stupidly asked her,
‘What’s wrong ? Are you sick ? Amber, can you hear me ?,’
To my surprise, she gave me a
humongous hug. I knew she was going to start hiccupping if I didn’t comfort her
so I held her like my sister did to me when I was young. I stroked her hair and
whispered,
‘Shh, shh… Don’t worry, it’s okay…I’m here…,’
Her hug around me, tighten. I
almost didn’t hear it because she said it so quietly into my sweater,
‘Taylor… I’m really sorry. This is the second time today I’m
crying into your sweater. Thank you, really,’
‘It’s okay… Well, I am your forever friend. I’m always going
to be here for you if you need me,’ I said casually.
It hurts to actually say it when
what I really feel was the opposite.
‘But I love you ! How can we stay being friends ?!,’ My
conscience shouted.
‘So if I tell you to stay here with me, tonight, would you
do it ?,’ she looked at me from under my chin.
Huh… do I have any choice ? My
heart would probably hate me if I don’t do so. So I stayed.
<3
<3 <3 <3
‘Okay mum, no, I won’t do anything stupid. Mum… she’s been
my best friend since we were in diapers ! Yeah, mum… okay, I’m hanging up now…
okay, g’night, bye,’ I turned off my phone.
I went back to the living room
where Amber readied a simple d.i.y. bed on the sofa for me. Her face was still
pale but I noticed it was returning to it’s normal colour again. She turned on
the tv and sat on the sofa beside mine. She turned her head around and caught
me staring at her.
‘Um, is my brother’s old clothes fit you ? I’m sorry they’re
all I could give you. Oh, and I made a bed out of the sofa…,’ she said
gesturing to the sofa.
‘Taylor ? What’s wrong ?,’
‘Oh, oh it’s nothing. It’s just that… you look like a
perfect version of my future wife…,’ as soon as I said that, I wish I could
take it back.
‘I, uh.. What I meant was… I, um, you…?,’ I started to
stutter.
It was
a good thing she giggled. I probably have blushed. Yay… So I went to her, sat
on the sofa and I asked her,
‘So when are you going to tell me about this whole moving
thing ?,’
‘After we watch this movie. The title’s ‘P/s: I love you’,’
she said as she clicked on the remote.
<3
<3 <3 <3
The movie was so sad. I nearly
cried. Well, as usual, Amber cried her heart out.
It was a story about a guy having
cancer and tried to leave the country without telling anybody about it so
nobody would be worried. Unfortunately his best friend knew about it from his
parents. She stopped him from leaving and that’s when she confessed that she
knew about it and wanted to help him. He asked why and she said she loved him.
The guy eventually dies but the girl was satisfied that she managed to help and
told him she loved him. So it counts as a win-win situation. But still, the
climax was so tragic.
RRRRIIINNGGG !!! The landline
phone rang. Amber picked it up quickly.
‘Hello ? Oh hi mum ! Yeah, I made chicken soup. What ? Oh no
are you guys going to be okay ? No, no don’t worry Taylor’s here. I’ll tell you
later. Mum…I’m seventeen. Okay. G’night. Love you,’ she put the phone down and
sighed. Then she turned to me, looking scared. I knew what she was thinking so
I said,
‘Don’t worry. I’m not going to do anything with you. Sheesh…
I’m a nice guy, you know. What did your mum say ?,’
‘It’s not that. Um, well, their car broke down and now
they’re staying in a hotel while the car is in repairing. So… I’m going
upstairs. Night, Taylor,’ she said and rushed upstairs.
I
thought my heart was going to explode ! That cute, scared look on her face
totally made me blush. I hope she didn’t think I was pervy. I headed to my
newly made bed. At first, I just laid there, staring at the ceiling. But I
started to feel sleepy and I felt I was drifting… when I heard a small noise
coming from upstairs.
I got
up and listened to it for a few seconds. THUMP! THUMP! There it was again. I
thought it came from Guinevere walking on the roof but it got louder. TH-THUMP,
TH-THUMP! THUMP! It was something big…
I was worried if something
happened to Amber. So I crept up the stairs and peeked from the landing. I
couldn’t see clearly but I thought I saw… BANG!!!!! Something fell and crashing
sounds came next. That’s when I heard Amber’s scream.
‘AMBER!!! Amber where are you ? Amber…? ,’ I called out,
blindly rubbing my way up the stairs. Where is she? Then there was a CLICK
sound from behind me.
‘Don’t move. Or she dies. Hands up where I can see ‘em! Now,
turn around, throw me all of your belongings. NOW !!!,’ the voice shouted.
Fumbling,
I threw everything I had which was just a bunch of $20 and my transportation
fares. It would at least total up to $100.95. The guy picked it up, and pushed
Amber towards me. Which made both of us tumble down a flight of stairs. It was
a good thing I managed to pull her so she was practically wrapped in…me, I
guess.
I heard the THUMP-ing sounds
again and waited for it to go quiet. The robber was gone. I slowly unwrapping
Amber and inspected her if she was hurt. That’s when I realized she was crying.
Badly, I’m telling you. And her face was bruised. I sat her up and hugged her
tightly, hoping to comfort her.
‘I’m sorry, Amber. I should have told you to stay with me
down here. Now you’re hurt because of that stupid burglar. I’m really sorry…,’
I said.
‘It was no b-burglar. It was my dad’s ex-employee. He wanted
t-to take revenge of my dad for firing him… so h-he stalked me, threatening my
dad to pay him $10000 or I’ll be…,’ she broke off, clearly scared, still
shaking and hiccupping.
‘Shh shhh… I get it now… you don’t have to tell me. That’s
why your parents wanted to send you away… it was all to protect you… oh Amber…
and I was pushing you to tell me.. I’m sorry... but don’t worry, you’re alright
now…,’ I hugged even tightly now, trying not to imagine what would’ve happen if
I didn’t stay here.
Then I
heard her moan.
‘Amber ? What’s wrong ?,’ I parted from her, trying to find
a spot where that psychopath guy might have hurt her. And I saw she was holding
her stomach.
No… no!
Blood was everywhere now… even on me… Amber was breathing heavily now,
clutching her stomach with one hand and the other to grab hold of my sweater.
‘T-taylor… I need you to g-get me to the hospital… b-but
don’t tell mum or dad… or they’ll really s-send me away…,’ she muttered.
Knowing
that calling the ambulance would take time, I carried her in my arms and ran
outside. I got to the main road in the nick of time as a cab stopped in front
of us.
‘H-hospital!!! HURRY!!!,’ I shouted to the driver.
‘Stay with me Amber! D-don’t close your eyes, Amber, look at
me…,’ I pleaded, already crying by now. Outside, I noticed the sky was also
crying to the rhythm of my tears……
Please… Amber, stay with me…
<3
<3 <3 <3
I only
saw my tears that night. The doctor said she was in a coma because she lost a
lot of blood, so I gave mine (It’s a good thing I was an O blood-type). It was
also because she went into shock. I remembered when she was shaking in my arms.
It was horrible.
I just
stared at her the entire night, waiting for her to wake up. Without realizing
it, I was already talking to her softly, hoping she was listening.
‘I’m really sorry, Amber. I had to call someone, so I called
your brother and he’s on his way. I guess before he comes, I’m all you have…
huh… it would be great though if you’d answer me like, ‘you’re all I need’…
haha. I must be crazy!,’ I said, scratching my head.
Without
thinking, I blurted,
‘You probably don’t know how much I love you, don’t you?’,
Then I
saw it. A single drop of tear travelling down her cheeks, kissing her hair.
‘Amber? What’s wrong? You can hear me? Oh Amber… don’t cry…
I’ll be here when you wake up, okay? Just… stay. Don’t you dare leave me…,’ I
whispered to her.
<3
<3 <3 <3
‘Taylor…’
Something
in between my fingers twitched. I opened my eyes.
‘Amber! You’re awake! Oh God, Thank you! Zach, wake up!
Amber just woke up!,’ I shook Amber’s brother who arrived a few hours ago with
my feet as Amber was holding my hand.
Amber
was holding my hand. My hand!!! Amber…what ?
‘Taylor, water…,’ she said. I grabbed the bottle I just got
from 7-eleven. Her hand was shaking so I helped her. She drank almost half of
the bottle.
‘Huh… sorry, I was just…so thirsty,’ she said, her voice was
as delicate as a feather.
‘How are you feeling? Is your stomach doing well? The doctor
said they’ve gotten the bullet out…,’ I babbled as she stared at me.
‘What…? Do I look THAT messy?,’ I asked her, suddenly
nervous of her intense staring. I sat again on the chair that I’ve been sitting
on all night and she held my hand more firm.
‘I’m guessing you stayed here all night, judging from that
last night’s attire and your sweater. First it was tears, then it’s blood. Wow,
I owe you big time,’ she said.
‘Um, yeah. You also have my blood now, in your veins as you
needed it last night...,’ I tried to act all cool, which was impossible with
her holding my hand.
‘Looks like I owe you more and more now,’ she smiled.
‘I’ll… just call the doctor…,’ I started to stand up, but
with a strength I didn’t know she had, Amber pulled my hand so I turned to her.
And this time, it was much closer.
And
that strength was all it took. It was all it took for her to have my lips. And
also, my breath. Man, she was a good kisser. When she let go of me, she said,
‘I heard what you said last night…I was just returning the
favour… and the confession.’
I think
I blushed. Urgh, I am pathetic.
<3
<3 <3 <3
‘Thank you, son, for saving my Amber’s life. We owe you a
life debt. I just hope there’s a way for us to show you a little thanks,’ said
Mr Adam.
‘Oh, no no, you don’t owe me anything. But… if you could… can
you let Amber stay? You know, I mean, instead of sending her off…,’ I said,
hoping.
He took
a minute, inspecting me from top to bottom. Then he said,
‘I’m fine with that, if you can make sure before that maniac
ex-employee of mine is captured, you’ll keep an eye on my daughter. She still
hasn’t fully-recovered yet, you know,’
I was
probably bursting with joy when he left Amber’s room with a smile, giving his
approval. Yes!!! I wanted to shout out. When he closed the door, I said,
‘Not just an eye, but four of it… Hey, are you sure you’re
okay sleeping here in this room? Well, with everything that’s happened…,’ I
asked Amber as I sat beside her on the bed.
She
took my glasses off and said,
‘Why? Do you want me to come to your house instead? Well
that can be arranged. But first, let me ask you, why are you’re eyelashes so
long?,’
‘Because I’m pretty? Hahahaha… now my turn, why are you
taking off my glasses? I can still see you a bit,’ I said, reaching my hand to
her hair that went to her eyes.
‘Because… I don’t want you to see me blush… when I do this,’
She
pulled me to her and gave me a little hug before she totally possessed my lips.
Quietly, I got my glasses from her bedside table and put it on again.
‘Aha! I saw you blushed!,’ I said, pulling myself together
after that overrated kiss.
‘No fair… do you want me to leave you with a sticky-notes
saying ‘P/s, I love you’ ?,’ she asked me with that teasing tone of hers.
‘No! No I don’t, my snotty one…,’ I teased her back with a
mock bow even though I was acting like I didn’t care, but she totally had me.
I’d die if she does that.
<3 THE END
<3
